Review: OCEAN'S 8

by Patrick Bromley
Anything boys can do girls can do with 3-5 fewer people.

Ocean's 8 is the definition of a three star movie: it's totally watchable, features actors I like having a good time, is fun to look at, demands very little of me, and will more or less be forgotten by the time I finish this review. It's the breeziest summer movie you could ask for, in that it blows past you and is gone before you realize it.

Full confession: I had every intention of reviewing Hereditary this week. I have heard nothing but crazy good things about it. It's a horror movie (according to everyone but the director and d-bags with #HotTakes), and I really love horror movies. Having mostly avoided trailers and entirely avoiding any plot synopses, I wanted to see it before someone had the chance to ruin any of it for me. However, last week was a really, really rough one. There were several suicides, which means the news was constantly talking about suicide and everyone in my social media feeds was talking about suicide and, to be honest, it did a real number on me. I didn't want to go see Hereditary in that state, because I was genuinely afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it and would have to walk out. I don't walk out of movies. That's Adam Riske's department. Ocean's 8, on the other hand, I knew I could handle. In that sense, it was exactly what I needed.
Sandra Bullock plays Debbie Ocean, sister of George Clooney's Danny Ocean of the original [remake] Ocean's trilogy. Danny, by all appearances, has passed on, presumably having smirked himself to death. Debbie has just gotten out of jail after doing five years and is immediately ready to pull off a job she spent her time in the clink dreaming up: she's going to steal a $150 million dollar, six-pound diamond necklace during the upcoming Met gala. To do it, she enlists a team: her old partner Lou (Cate Blanchett in the Brad Pitt role); a hacker named 9 Ball (Rihanna); jeweler Amita (Mindy Kaling); pickpocket Constance (rapper Awkwafina); suburban mom and former fence Tammy (Sarah Paulson); and fashion designer Rose Weil (Helena Bonham Carter), who is responsible for dressing Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway), the big movie star who's going to wear the diamonds so that, unbeknownst to her, the team can steal them.

Knowing the cast of characters and the job they're planning is really all there is to talk about with Ocean's 8, because the rest of the movie consists of them prepping and then pulling off the job. Co-writer and director Gary Ross, friend and frequent collaborator of Steven Soderbergh (who serves as a producer) and a logical choice to take over the series, makes the decision very early on to adhere very, very closely to the original Ocean's Eleven formula. He starts with an Ocean at her parole hearing talking directly to camera. He ends with the whole team sharing a moment together in silence, only here substitutes a subway car for the Bellagio fountain. There's a love interest who is inadvertently part of the job, providing some of Ocean's motivation (though I will say that one of my favorite things about Ocean's 8 is that it never makes the nature of this relationship totally clear, and more than once suggests the possibility of a relationship between Bullock and Blanchett without ever putting a label to that either). In between it all is the big score, which is explained to us ahead of time and then plays out for us, leaving little room for drama or conflict. On the one hand, that's ok: I don't go to Ocean's 8 wondering whether or not they're going to pull off the heist. On the other, though, I wouldn't mind a little bit of suspense as to the how, and Ocean's 8 isn't really interested in holding that information back.
That's my biggest problem with Ocean's 8. I don't need major dramatic stakes, because I'd be happy to watch a movie in which Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett sit and eat breakfast in silence in a series of incredible clothes (particularly Blanchett, who outdoes herself in every scene; just when you think there's nothing better than the leather pants, along come the green sequins). I'm on board to watch this group of women bounce off one another, but Ross misses the lightness of Soderbergh's movie(s). He tries to approximate it with style -- zooms and wipes and another bouncy jazz score, this time courtesy of Daniel Pemberton -- but there's very rarely any joy to be felt. Sandra Bullock's Debbie Ocean carries a good deal of anger with her; it's understandable, having been betrayed and sent to prison for five years, but it changes the dynamic of the film. No one is really given the opportunity to be funny, which means we enjoy spending time with this cast because we like these actors, but their characters aren't as much fun to be around as I would have liked.

Well, almost no one gets the opportunity to be funny. Completely stealing this movie is Anne Hathaway, who kicks Ocean's 8 to life every time she's on screen and getting all of my biggest laughs. She's this movie's Andy Garcia, only without ever posing an actual threat. Hathaway is a great actress who I have always found quite actress-y, but here is using all of those qualities for comic effect, delivering a fairly savage takedown of Hollywood stars like herself. Despite being exquisitely photographed throughout, she gives a comic performance without vanity and never pats herself on the back for doing so. She's clearly having a great time and she's very funny. Only the first part can be said of everyone else.
I was perfectly and pleasantly entertained by Ocean's 8, and while I hate to compare it to Ocean's Eleven -- for my money, one of the most pleasantly entertaining movies of the last 20 years -- the film keeps inviting that comparison by following the original's formula so closely. That film achieved a kind of alchemy that's almost impossible to reproduce, as evidenced by the fun-but-less-successful sequels. It's not Ocean's 8's fault for not being Ocean's Eleven, but I still had the highest of hopes that it would be great escapism. Instead it's just good escapism: the kind of party where it's fun to hang out for two hours and you're happy to see everyone there, but you probably won't feel like going back.

Who am I kidding? If they decide to have another party two summers from now, of course I'll be back. The guest list is just too good. And I did enjoy Ocean's 8! It's easy to enjoy. It just won't be as easy to remember.